Parenting: Oh Hunter you have given me many gray hairs!

Ok I am not posting this because I want to argue about it with anyone more of a way for me to log what I have done to see the progress and if it has worked! Lets just say today and well the past year has been very hard with disciplining Hunter. I have literally googled on ways to help me fix his behavior! I know alot of it is because he is two and mentally he is learning how to handle things but when your around your child you can tell when he doesn't understand versus just being a pill and ignoring you! Trust me there IS a difference so.... After trying all different ways to fix these issues that arise I have resorted to removing all toys from his room. Keep reading to see my reasoning and what else I have tried.

He does stuff like hitting, kicking, screaming, pinching, running away when I ask for him to come etc. He does pretty much everything but what is funny he is much nicer when he isn't with us so then no one believes us of how bad he is. If anyone out in public tries to say hi or talk or even LOOK at him he will swat his hand in their direction like he is hitting them. That is pretty embarrassing. :/

So the past year this is what I have tried...

*Time outs (worked for awhile then after that he didn't really care and it didnt do anything)
* Hitting us I slap his hand back (he hits more)
*Spanking (still hits or acts out)
*Throw a toy at me it goes into a visible time out so he is reminded that it is there and why it is there (doesn't work so well when he has multiple toys. Hence why I resorted to removing all toys)
* Send him to his room. I tell him I dont want to listen to him crying because we are all happy downstairs. This worked for the moment but nothing really changed for the long run and this is hard to do when you are not home.
*Ignoring him and not reacting, staying calm
*Holding his hands down when he hits and telling him it isn't ok to hit cause it hurts

NONE of this has worked! So this morning I had had it with him. We were having a good morning and he was sitting next to me on the couch playing with my phone and said he had to go potty so I told him ok go potty....HE FLIPPED OUT! It was like I was making him do something horrid when he was the one that said he needed to go. Lately going potty he has been waiting too long and going in his pants a little where before he would just go and I sometimes never even knew he went til after the fact. Anyways I picked him up and went to the bathroom where he was screaming, crying and saying he didn't have to go which I knew he did and we were leaving anyways so I wanted him to try and go. Finally I lost it! YES I LOST IT! I did yell, react and just lashed out at him cause I was so sick of it! It was no big deal all he had to do was go potty but he made it so much bigger and harder than it needed to be! I just wanted him to pee and move on with his day!

So I told him to go with me and he was going to watch me pack up all his toys. The reason I jumped to this was because his toys are his life and I knew it would put some shock into him. No other punishment has worked cause he honestly didn't care you can tell. He sat on his floor as I kept explaing what I was doing and why I was doing it and I cleared out his room. I told him that nice people that listen and behave earn things like toys so when I felt he was being nice I would let him pick out one toy...not get ALL his toys back at once. The change once it was all packed up was AMAZING!

He still hadn't gone potty and we needed to leave so I told him ONCE to go potty please and he went. I said ONCE get your shoes on please we need to go bye bye and he did it. He asked me for one toy and it was hard to say no but I did and told him that we needed to see how he was going to behave. He didn't cry or anything and we left. When we got back home he asked where his toys were and I told him remember they are downstairs. It was nap time and he was outside not wanting to come in so I explained to him again that I would like him to listen to mommy and come in the house and take his shoes off and after twice he did it. Even this was improvement. Now nap time....the time where he ALWAYS has at least 5 or so cars in his bed and plays with them for a little bit before he goes to sleep...well there were no toys this time and I said he could take a book to bed. He did need to go potty first though. At first it was still a little bit of a struggle but way better than it was that morning. He finally went and I said ok nap time and you could tell he wanted a toy really bad but he resorted to the book and fell asleep 15 minutes later.

So this might not be how you would handle this but it is what is working right now plus alot of explaining and talking to him. Even out of the house today it seemed as though he listened better. So we will see it may not work but honestly we are all sick of how he acts and it hasn't gotten better but actually worse. He still plays with toys when he is somewhere like church, the gym etc. cause obviously I can't take those away. I think this will make him cherish his toys a little more. I am trying or at least going to try to not make it a "reward" but honestly if we think about it we are all rewarded for good behavior whether us as adults want to admit it or not. Plus ALOT of talking it out and explaining is going along with this as well. Will keep you posted but in the mean time please pray that Hunter will start to comprehend how what he does affects each one of us and I am worried about him being mean to the baby and hitting him as well. We have also resorted back to taking naps on a regular basis because I think being tired is part of this as well!

PS If you have done this let me know how it went. If you want to offer other ways that you actually handled a child like this then feel free to post. We all parent differently and there is no judgement on my blog or it will be removed!

UPDATE: Today went pretty well and there was alot more listening done. Hunter came in without a fight from outside, ate his dinner and has been pleasant. So I did tell him that he could pick out a toy to play with for the evening. He was more than thrilled. I think this will also make him appreciate his toys more instead of throwing them across the room! We will see what tomorrow brings!